FIRST STAGE--things are so fucking fabulous and i can't believe i was ever depressed in life! there's so much shit to be happy for. i'll never be bummed again!
SECOND STAGE--i wish i felt like i did awhile ago, kinda bored with life...shit i hope the downhill slope isn't coming. dammit, i'll just fight it. music, ah; music.
THIRD STAGE--great, i'm feeling blah again. i have a million people around me yet feel so lonely and this sucks ass and blah blah etc. ::bitches, moans::
AND THEN, AFTER WHO KNOWS HOW LONG....IT GETS BETTER! SHIT IS BETTER THAN YOU REMEMBER IT HAD BEEN BEFORE YOU GOT DOWN. AGAIN! AND YOU THOUGHT THIS TIME THAT WOULDN'T BE POSSIBLE!
my dog died and that was definitely the worst thing that could've happened. i found out last wednesday and fell completely apart and the week was shit for awhile-i will always miss penny. now for some positive posting.....
last night was amazing. jentle and i drove to slc after i got off work and went to a PARTY at joey's. loved it. there were some rad people there and we got completely fucked up and joey and i listened to god speed ye black emperor again and i passed out listening to some amazing music after some great conversation. jen was all cute and cuddly last night! the night before, endseptember was over w/jentle and we all smoked and went for a midnight/1 a.m. whatever-the-fuck walk. before that i'd been to atchie's.......HAHA with ma band (some of the outset crew) and their girls and taryn and fidel. loved it! i even got a free long island out of the night. see? now, there's something positive. and there was another great night at joey's involving breakdancing, drinking, hanging out listening to music, jen stripping, being up 'til 6 a.m. so, the nights are fabulous. the days, i get fucking stirry. but the pool's nice! and there's a show saturday, and that's the great part about what i've been doing lately in life. i have friends and people i love to be around and i'm challenged socially every day.