i miss jen. i feel bad 'cause i want to hang with her but i think she's working today? i dunno. i've gotta hang with her this week though. before i go to california and all. jake got a bunch of free passes to area so maybe this week a bunch of us will go....and get joel REAL goood and drunk so he'll come with. i think i'm craving some intimate conversation. i think i need some depth in my life. i should read a war book, or about someone who made a real difference in their life. uh, i should just read.
i want to keep the neighbor's kitty. they're planning on taking it to the humane society and i feel shitty about that whole ordeal. tried to talk joel into keeping it and when he said no, i cried. it's just too great of a kitten. snuggles. licks me. sleeps on me. oh man, i have to find a home for the little one :( i was half tempted to just keep it in my bathroom and hide it from joel. don't think i'd be able to get away with it. dammit. it's put me in a bad mood. so, i'm trying to stay upbeat. kinda feel like my life is nearing the lame zone. i just don't do shit during the day. though i did play drums today and it was so great. far from obvious has a show tonight with the "new outfit." gotta work tonight, so looks like i cannot attend. i'll have to hear by word of mouth how it went. i know who their new drummer is though. she's a "cope." that means she's amazing! she's jake's sister and HE is just the shit drummer. as i hear it, their whole family's got "the gift." i want "the gift." i should work harder for it. hee.
you haven't even touched on the
offerings of this world
you don't have to be any central
just focus on something other than
you claim to have tried this?
cannot be or you would not be where you are.
see all the you's, the YOU'S in this shit?
think of something else.
wedge yourself out of this.
okay....poverty, pestilence, violence, miracles, babies,
mathematics, science, astronomy, mythology, music, poetry, music,
poetry, music, poetry....drinking, smoking, are those two getting in the way?
friendships, the day i cried, the day i was mocked, the time i kissed someone,
the fantasies, the secrets
THE HELL THAT OTHERS LIVE
prisoners, murderers, victims of murder, the brainwashed, the rich, the poor
the selfish, the ignorant, UTAH.
back to my own world. guess it always comes back around
my hair, my legs, the food that kills me.
the days i waste away.