kimmerz (burlyk) wrote,
kimmerz
burlyk

don't know why

i don't know why i even write in this silly thing....'cause i'm drunk! ha ha! uh, so tonight had a rude awakening from my friend...she was drunk too. kinda put ME out on the table. all true; unfortunately. i hate my shortcomings. i'm so fucked up sometimes and to hear someone else say why i'm a little fucked in the head and let me know what i can do to make life easier for myself--geez, i wish it were that easy. but i guess it is huh? just gotta make the official decision. i don't care what people think. i'm gonna give myself a break. im going to let that punctuation mistake go. i'm gonna have a good time. i'm going to accept the fact that i'm not a supermodel. i'm going to be proud of what i do have. my legs, my hair, not exactly as i wish them to be but oh fucking well. hmmmm, that's fucking hard for me to do. shit, i guess i still have a lot to learn. but life isn't really that long. i don't really have all the time in the world to waste doing nothing because i'm too afraid to really do anything. maybe i'm afraid of being watched. i'm so willing to spill all my guts and at the same time so scared to really let myself out there. wow. don't know what to do. what do you do when your instincts begin to fade away and you don't even know if your natural instincts are really that--natural. shit, i need to get some sleep. :)
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